Tobias' Recovery

  Breathe. Live in the Now. Today I read about the murder of Charlie Kirk. It was a shock—not only because of the act itself, but because of the many voices that immediately grew loud: hatred, mockery, satisfaction, anger. And I asked myself: How quickly do we let ourselves get pulled into that spiral? How quickly does our ego jump up, wanting to judge, to take sides? But deep inside, I feel: this is not my true nature. Hatred and anger are not part of my inner core. They are like shadows coming from the outside. The true Self—quiet, still, full of love—does not know this noise. When I think of Tobias, I feel even more clearly what is important and what is not. He has lost so much: freedom of movement, independence, security in daily life. Suddenly, he had to learn to rely on others—on me, on his family, on the outside world. That was hard. But in this vulnerability, he discovered something precious: that his Heavenly Father carries him. That God is not the cause of unrest, but ...

  Atme. Leben im Jetzt. Heute habe ich von der Ermordung von Charlie Kirk gelesen. Es war ein Schock, nicht nur wegen der Tat selbst, sondern wegen der vielen Stimmen, die sofort laut wurden: Hass, Spott, Genugtuung, Ärger. Und ich habe mich gefragt: Wie schnell lassen wir uns hineinziehen in diese Spirale? Wie schnell springt unser Ego auf, will urteilen, will Partei ergreifen? Aber tief in mir spüre ich: Das ist nicht meine wahre Natur. Hass und Ärger gehören nicht zu meinem inneren Kern. Sie sind wie Schatten, die von außen kommen. Das wahre ICH – leise, still, voller Liebe – kennt diesen Lärm nicht. Wenn ich an Tobias denke, spüre ich noch deutlicher, was wichtig ist und was nicht. Er hat so viel verloren: Bewegungsfreiheit, Selbstständigkeit, Sicherheit im Alltag. Plötzlich musste er lernen, sich auf andere zu verlassen – auf mich, auf seine Familie, auf das Außen. Das war hart. Aber in dieser Verletzlichkeit hat er etwas Kostbares entdeckt: Dass sein Vater im Himmel ihn tr...

It was quite an experience  taking Tobias to Lindlar Tyler took the train with Tobias to Cologne, while I drove the car with all our luggage, everything needed for Tobias’s care, some rehab equipment, and more. The car was packed — no space left for Tyler and Tobias. I also felt it was important to bring both wheelchairs, since Lindlar is nestled in a beautiful valley surrounded by fields and woods, but with many steep hills, even in the tiny village. My back isn’t in great shape, and I didn’t want to risk anything. Pushing a wheelchair uphill confirmed that it was the right decision to bring both. Tyler and I were nervous about the trip. How would Tobias do? Would he be in pain? We're still scared and somewhat traumatized from the first two years, when Tobias often had storming episodes and severe pain. He's shown us that his body has become more stable and stronger — but we still carry hesitation. And he did great. So did Tyler. It took me almost ten hours by car due t...

  TobiasComeback Blog Entry: “Sitting Still Isn’t Giving Up” May 12, 2025 Today, I watched Tobias sit in his wheelchair, parked just a few feet from where he wanted to go. He sat there, quiet, still, and focused—his right leg poised for a move that didn’t come. I didn’t rush in. I didn’t rescue. I just watched it. And waited. How long is too long to wait? That question lives in the quiet spaces of our daily lives. It’s not just about time; it’s about trust. Trust in the process. Trust in the effort, even when it may not appear to be effortful. Trust in the stillness that might seem like stuckness but could actually be building something unseen. We’re teaching Tobias to move his wheelchair using his right leg on the floor—just a scoot, a push, a glide. It sounds simple. But for someone whose brain was once bathed in blood from a rupture he didn’t ask for, it’s a mountain. And yet, day after day, we practice. Occasionally he can do it, but sometimes he freezes. And that’s whe...

 Die letzte Zeit musste ich viel über das Wort Fairness nachdenken. Es wird immer wieder erwähnt im Zusammenhang mit Tobias. Hierzu kam dann auch die Inspiration dieses Blogs. Viel Spaß beim lesen.  🌿 Das Leben ist nicht fair – und trotzdem schön Warum erscheint das Leben so ungerecht? Wir hören von Kriegen. Wir sehen Menschen – Kinder, Jugendliche, Erwachsene und Ältere – mit schweren Krankheiten. Viele kämpfen mit psychischen Belastungen oder körperlichem Schmerz. Das Leben kann sich schwer und ungerecht anfühlen. Und doch – mitten in all dem – ist diese Welt wunderschön. Die Natur zeigt uns den Kreislauf des Lebens: Blühen, langsamer werden und sterben, auferstehen. Die Pflanzen zeigen uns, wie das geht. Sie lehrt uns still, dass alles seine Zeit hat. Das Universum hat uns die Erde geschenkt – einen Ort zum Leben, Lernen, Pflegen und Ernähren. Und wir Menschen haben begonnen, der Welt mit unserer Vorstellungskraft Bedeutung zu geben. Eines dieser Konzepte ist die  Fa...

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about what Tobias says and his attitude toward his and our new life. This blog entry was inspired by the phrase, It's just not fair what happened to Tobias' life.  🌍 Life Isn’t Fair—But Life Is Still Beautiful Why does life seem unfair? We see and hear about war. We live among children, young adults, and elderly people with severe health issues. Many of us struggle with mental illness or physical pain. Life can feel heavy and full of suffering. And yet — in the middle of all this — the world we live in is beautiful. Nature teaches us the cycle of life: blooming, slowing down, and dying. It is a quiet teacher, showing us that everything has its season. The universe gave us Earth — a place to live, learn from, take care of, and live off. In response, we humans created ideas to make sense of it all. One of those ideas is fairness . What is fairness? According to the dictionary: “Fairness is the quality of treating people equally or in a...