Update on Tobias

 

Update on Tobias

Tobias has rocked the past two weeks. Even though we had a lot of cancellations on therapies due to colds and vacation, we did our own thing. To be honest, I enjoy these quieter weeks at times. They give me time to focus on all those things I wanted to do with Tobias but never get to them. Especially cognitive work, which I find personally so rewarding; of course the walks and chats with him. Tobias is making progress, and it’s incredibly fulfilling to see positive feedback almost immediately.

My biggest wonder and fears when I am down: 

Will his ability to learn new things ever fully return—or will it only partially come back? How will he ever learn new things? Learning is tied to the frontal lobe and thalamus, and both areas have suffered damage. Here is an example. We went to the temple on Saturday, but Tobias does not remember. Tobias cannot remember which day it was yesterday. The good thing is, his awareness is there. If I ask him, "Did you go to the temple yesterday? He answers, "I hope so," and laughs. We still believe in the power of a determined and resilient brain. 

Here’s an exciting "who" moment from a few days ago: Mandy gave Tobias an assignment—10 questions to answer
and 10 questions to ask ChatGPT. I also handed her some math problems for him to work on. As Tobias was answering the questions, he said to Mandy, “Mandy, what is the next question, please?” That one simple sentence was an incredible moment of active participation. Mandy and I were both thrilled to see him so engaged!

Moments like these, small but meaningful, are becoming more frequent. Little steps forward that hopefully lead to something bigger.

Never give up :)

People often ask me if Tobias will ever finish his studies or return to university. Writing those words alone brings tears to my eyes and heavyness to my heart. The truth is, we just don’t know. We hope—of course we hope—but not even the neuroaligist knows if his brain can or can’t rebuild the connections needed for “new learning.” We’ve seen Tobias pick up new strategies when he’s genuinely interested in something, so there’s a glimmer or more of possibility. With everyone, I mean our therapists, doctors, and neuropsychologists, who are still optimistic and giving their very best. Just on a quick note, I am trying courserain the meantime :)

As a mother, this is the hardest part for me. When I was younger, my dreams for my children were simple: I wanted them to enjoy learning, develop strong values, do well in school, find fulfilling careers, marry, and have families of their own. But now, I find myself constantly re-evaluating what is essential to me in life. Is it about meeting societal standards, or is it about embracing a higher, individual purpose?

Numerous philosophers have explored these questions—about the meaning of life, our connection to each other, and God's plan. For me, they’ve become deeply personal.

I want Tobias to have everything he’s ever dreamed of. By the time my own life is over, I hope he’s independent, married, learning, working, and thriving. That’s Tyler and my dream. 

In our faith, we have priesthood blessings for health and comfort. Since Tobias’s brain bleed, he’s received at least six. Each one has promised recovery, marriage to his best friend, children, work, and learning. These blessings give us hope, even on the hardest days.

Life is such a balancing act of faith and hope, hard work and rest, acceptance and resilience. While I don’t know exactly where this journey will lead us, I do know this: consistent, dedicated effort brings joy. It’s how we show Tobias—and ourselves—that we’re not giving up.

If Tobias could say something to you today, I think it would be this: “Heavenly Father’s got me. He’s blessed me and hasn’t stopped yet. I’ll be back, folks!”

Love you all,
Katja, Tyler, and Tobias

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TobiasComeBack, I think it is under my name :)