"The Journey of Healing: More Than Meets the Eye"

Life as a Caregiver: Finding Light in the Midst of Darkness

 

Life can change in an instant. One moment, everything seems normal, and the next, your entire world is turned upside down. That’s what happened to me and my family when Tobias, our now 25-year-old son suffered a sudden aneurysm. In a heartbeat, our lives were forever changed, and we entered a new reality that was both challenging and unexpected. But through this journey, we have found light — in the strength of our family, the dedication of therapists, the support of a loving assistant, and the guidance of our Heavenly Father.

In this blog, I want to share our story, our challenges, and the beauty that has come from the darkest of times. It’s a story of love, resilience, and the healing that doesn’t always come in the way we expect. My hope is that by sharing our experiences, I can inspire others who may be going through similar trials and remind them that healing can come in many forms.

 

The Day Everything Changed

The day Tobias had his aneurysm, I felt the world slip from beneath my feet. It was as if time itself stopped, and I found myself holding my breath, praying with everything in me that he would survive. The hours spent in the hospital were some of the longest and most terrifying moments of my life. When the doctors informed us of his condition, my heart broke into a thousand pieces. My son was alive, but he was no longer the same.

He survived, but now Tobias lives with disabilities that have transformed his daily existence. The shock of realizing that our once-healthy, independent son now requires lots of care was overwhelming. In those early days, I didn’t know how we would manage. But what I did know was that we would never give up on him. That we will give him a chance to become independent again, after all he is a fighter.

 

Adjusting to Our New Reality

The transition to caregiving was not easy and still has its challenges. My life now revolves around Tobias’ needs — from helping him with basic tasks like eating and dressing to coordinating therapy sessions and medical appointments. It’s a 24/7 responsibility, and most days it feels like there’s no end in sight.

But in the midst of the hard days, there are many moments of grace. The joy of seeing him smile, hearing him laugh, the small and bigger victories in therapy, and the unwavering love he shares with his family keeps me going. Our family has grown closer in ways I never imagined. My husband and I have learned to communicate more openly, and we’ve become a stronger unit, supporting each other through every trial. Our children have learned in their own ways. 

We also have an incredible therapist team that has been instrumental in my son’s progress. Their dedication, patience, and expertise have been a lifeline for us. They celebrate every achievement, no matter how small, and encourage us to keep moving forward.

Then, there is our amazing assistant — a kind woman from our neighborhood who helps for nine hours a week. Those hours are invaluable. They give me a break to breathe, to take care of myself, and to recharge. She and her little dog Bambi has become part of our family. It is nice to have people in our lives, who do not treat Tobias as an alien so to speak. Being around a disabled person can be intimidating to some folks. I understand well, we often see disabled people and think that they are also mentally challenged, which is of course not right.  

 

Spiritual Guidance and Faith

One of the things that has sustained me through this journey is my faith. I believe that our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, and while it’s not always what we want, it’s always for our good. Sometimes, the healing we seek doesn’t come in the way we expect. For us, it might not mean that Tobias will be fully restored to health, but healing has many faces and has already come in the form of spiritual strength, resilience, and a new perspective on life. Tobias is still dreaming of finishing school and having a family someday. We do not now, but we will not give up on his dreams. 

This eternal perspective — the understanding that life on earth is only a part of a much larger, eternal plan — has helped me to see beyond our immediate struggles. There are days when I question why this happened, but in those moments, I am reminded that our lives are in God’s hands. His love and grace are always with us, guiding us even when the road seems dark.

The prayers, the support from our faith community, and the constant reminder of God’s eternal love have been a source of incredible strength. I’ve learned to trust in His timing and His plan, even when it doesn’t align with my own desires. It’s this faith that has allowed me to move forward with hope, even in the most challenging times.

 

Healing in Different Ways

As mentioned before, healing has come in ways I never expected. While my son may never fully recover from his aneurysm, I’ve seen healing in other areas of our lives. Our family has grown stronger, and I’ve found a resilience within myself that I never knew existed. The love, patience, and care that we pour into each day have brought us closer together, and even though the road is hard, there is beauty in the way of life. Each day feels different, each day I can see the beauty in small things, in nature, in people, especially those who want to be nice by helping me to get into the door with his wheelchair or smiling at me while I am walking with Tobias. 

I’ve also learned that healing doesn’t just mean physical recovery. It means emotional and spiritual healing as well. It means learning to find joy in the small moments, to celebrate progress, and to trust in God’s plan for our lives. My son may not be the same person he was before the aneurysm, but he is still my son, his humor is returning more and more. His faith is strong, his love for people is amazing. As he is learning to communicate better, he is spreading kindness and gratefulness. Every day that we have together is a gift.

 

Conclusion

Being a caregiver to my son has been the most challenging and rewarding experience of my life. There are days when the weight of it all feels too much to bear, but then I remember the support we have — from our family, therapists, our assistant, and most of all, from God. This journey has taught me to rely on the people around me and to find strength in my faith. Life may not always go the way we plan, but I believe that every challenge we face has a purpose.

In the end, this new life, though difficult, is doable. Not because it’s easy, but because of the love that surrounds us, the grace that sustains us, and the faith that gives us hope for the future.

Never give up

Katja