A Day with Tobias: Strength of Mind Within a Weak Body

A Day with Tobias: Strength of Mind Within a Weak Body

Today, Tobias was quieter than usual. His body seemed weak, and it was hard for me not to notice the subtle signs of his fatigue. But even on days like this, when his physical energy is low, his mind remains sharp and strong, full of determination. That’s one of the things I admire most about him—his unbreakable spirit, even when his body feels like it's working against him.

A typical Saturday morning:

The morning started like many others. Tobias was lying in bed, and although I could sense his tiredness, I knew movement was essential. His body may not always cooperate with him, but without movement, the stiffness and pain only worsen. So, after some gentle massages, getting him dressed for the day, I helped him to walk from his bed to the lift. It was not as easy, I felt the burn in my arms :). His steps were slow, deliberate—reminding me of a sloth, that slow-moving creature that takes its time with every action. Tobias often looks like that, his movements unhurried and careful, as if each signal from his brain to his body takes time to reach its destination. But the effort he puts into each movement speaks volumes about his willpower. Its the moment when people get nervous, don't know what to say to Tobias, because we all are just not used to a slow pace and quietness. That's when I step in with my humor to stop the aquwardness. 

As we sat down for breakfast, I could see the exhaustion, his head rested forward, almost touching his stomach. But we pushed through. After breakfast, I decided it was time for a bike session, despite the heaviness I felt in my heart. His head still hung low, and I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt. Am I pushing him too hard? Should I let him rest today? These thoughts run through my mind often, but I also know the consequences of inaction. Without movement, the pain in his muscles and joints increases, and the stiffness worsens. So, despite my inner conflict, I had him ride the bike and mobilized his arms, helping him stretch and move. While he was busy, I ran outside and mowed the lawn. Fall cleanup needs to be addressed, but only with multitasking. 

Complaining or choosing the alternative:

The remarkable thing about Tobias is that he never complains. (besides about pain) Even when his body is weak, and the movements must be exhausting, he doesn’t fight me on it. He just does what needs to be done, working hard to keep his body moving, even if it’s in small, deliberate motions. He accepts the challenges of his body with a quiet strength that leaves me in awe. I’m not sure I would have the same resilience if I were in his shoes.

His mind is truly incredible. 

It’s as if he’s fully aware that his body isn’t responding the way he wants, but he doesn’t let it defeat him. He keeps trying, always pushing forward, even when it seems like the world is moving against him. In many ways, Tobias reminds me of the scripture in Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Tobias' body might be weak, but his mind is renewed daily by his strength of will and his unwavering faith. He understands that while his body might be broken in some ways, his spirit and mind can still thrive. And that gives him the perseverance to keep going, even when his physical abilities are still limited.

Battels via being chilled:

Watching Tobias move at times is like watching an internal battle. His brain knows what it wants his body to do, but something in the communication gets lost. He moves slowly, each step calculated, each action deliberate. It’s almost as if his body is playing catch-up with his brain, lagging behind. When I watch him, I often think of how incredible the human mind is. It can persist through adversity, even when the body falters.

One moment, he might struggle to lift his arm or move his legs, and the next, he surprises me with bursts of strength. Like when we played with the ball later in the day. Throwing and catching a ball is one of his favorite activities, and for some reason, it’s something he can still do exceptionally well. He catches the ball with strength and precision, as if this is the one task his brain and body have mastered together. Watching him catch the ball so confidently is a reminder that his strength is still there, even if it doesn’t always manifest in every aspect of his life.

Willpower - positive energy:

His love for playing catch is a testament to his willpower. Tobias may look frail on some days, but the strength he shows when he catches that ball reminds me that he is far from weak. His mind and body might not always be in sync, but he makes the best of what he has, working with what he can control and accepting what he can’t.

There’s a saying that the mind is more powerful than we give it credit for, and I see that truth in Tobias every day. His brain, though hindered by his injury, still holds immense power. It might not always send the right signals to his body, but it remains strong and determined, guiding him through his challenges with patience and grace.

2 Timothy 1:7

Tobias’ journey has been a long one, and while his body is slow to respond, his mind remains steadfast. I’m often reminded of 2 Timothy 1:7, which says, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Tobias embodies this every day. He does not let fear rule him. Instead, he works from a place of love and strength, controlling what he can and accepting the rest.

A reminder for all of us:

Tobias’ journey reminds us that strength isn’t always about physical ability—it’s about the resilience of the mind and spirit. Even when life slows us down or our bodies fail to cooperate, we can still push forward with determination. The challenges we face are not meant to break us but to teach us patience, perseverance, and faith. Let us find comfort in knowing that, like Tobias, we can overcome obstacles by focusing on what we can control and trusting in a higher plan. In our slowest moments, we still have the power to move forward.

As the day went on, I continued to marvel at his resilience. Yes, there are moments when I wish things were easier for him, when I wish his body would simply obey his mind’s commands. But I also know that God has a plan for him, and that plan might look different than what I once imagined. The strength of Tobias' mind in the face of his physical limitations reminds me that true power doesn’t always come from our bodies—it comes from within. It comes from our ability to adapt, to endure, and to keep pushing forward, even when the road is hard.

By the end of the day, I felt a sense of peace. Tobias might have moved slowly today, his body betraying his mind at times, but he never gave up. He never stops trying.  Tobias teaches me every day that no matter how slow the progress, there is always hope, always strength, and always love to carry us through. Many times throughout the day, he ask me to pray with him. Either, he thinks of someone or it is simply due to pain. I find it odd, but then I remember, that the old Tobias might it done this, too, but perhaps alone without his mother. Perhaps praying is the better alternative to him instead not trusting in a higher power. 

Trusting in prayers:

The day Tobias had his aneurysm, I felt the world slip from beneath my feet. It was as if time itself stopped, and I found myself holding my breath, praying with everything in me that he would survive. The hours spent in the hospital were some of the longest and most terrifying moments of my life. When the doctors informed us of his condition, my heart broke into a thousand pieces. My son was alive, but he was no longer the same. Praying was my only straw for comfort and begging for miracles. Tobias might feel just like it. You might ask yourself, how did it help Tobias, he is not back where he wants to be?! You are right, but that will be a blog for another day :). 

He survived, but now Tobias lives with disabilities that have transformed his daily existence. The shock of realizing that our once-healthy, independent son now requires lots of care was overwhelming. In those early days, I didn’t know how we would manage. But what I did know was that we would never give up on him. That we will give him a chance to become independent again, after all he is a fighter. We will do our part, Tobias does his part. This is all we can do. Finding the treasures under the rubble is not easy, but we find them day by day. 

 

(Rom. 5:3-4)

 "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Rom. 5:3-4)

Spiritual Guidance and Faith:

One of the things that has sustained me through this journey is my faith. I believe that our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, and while it’s not always what we want, it’s always for our good. Sometimes, the healing we seek doesn’t come in the way we expect. For us, it might not mean that Tobias will be fully restored to health, but healing has many faces and has already come in the form of spiritual strength, resilience, and a new perspective on life. Tobias is still dreaming of finishing school and having a family someday. We do not now, but we will not give up on his dreams. 

This eternal perspective — the understanding that life on earth is only a part of a much larger, eternal plan — has helped me to see beyond our immediate struggles. There are days when I question why this happened, but in those moments, I am reminded that our lives are in God’s hands. His love and grace are always with us, guiding us even when the road seems dark.

The prayers, the support from our faith community, and the constant reminder of God’s eternal love have been a source of incredible strength. I’ve learned to trust in His timing and His plan, even when it doesn’t align with my own desires. It’s this faith that has allowed me to move forward with hope, even in the most challenging times.

 

Healing in Different Ways:

As mentioned before, healing has come in ways I never expected. While my son may never fully recover from his aneurysm, I’ve seen healing in other areas of our lives. Our family has grown stronger, and I’ve found a resilience within myself that I never knew existed. The love, patience, and care that we pour into each day have brought us closer together, and even though the road is hard, there is beauty in the way of life. Each day feels different, each day I can see the beauty in small things, in nature, in people, especially those who want to be nice by helping me to get into the door with his wheelchair or smiling at me while I am walking with Tobias. 

I’ve also learned that healing doesn’t just mean physical recovery. It means emotional and spiritual healing as well. It means learning to find joy in the small moments, to celebrate progress, and to trust in God’s plan for our lives. My son may not be the same person he was before the aneurysm, but he is still my son, his humor is returning more and more. His faith is strong, his love for people is amazing. As he is learning to communicate better, he is spreading kindness and gratefulness. Every day that we have together is a gift.

Here is a verse from another scripture I do enjoy very much called "The book of Mormon" 

 "My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."

 

Conclusion:

Being a caregiver to my son has been the most challenging and rewarding experience of my life. There are days when the weight of it all feels too much to bear, but then I remember the support we have — from our family, therapists, our assistant, and most of all, from God. This journey has taught me to rely on the people around me and to find strength in my faith. Life may not always go the way we plan, but I believe that every challenge we face has a purpose.

In the end, this new life, though difficult, is doable. Not because it’s easy, but because of the love that surrounds us, the grace that sustains us, and the faith that gives us hope for the future.

Never give up

Just another caregiver or someone who is figuring out the purpose of life, lots of love, 

Katja