"Embracing Change: Finding Strength and Hope with Tobias

"Embracing Change: Finding Strength and Hope with Tobias

One of those days which is filled with Emotions, planning, or just the busyness. But I’m learning to accept that it’s okay. Sometimes, life doesn't go as planned, and that’s perfectly fine.

I recently hired a neighbor, who has been a source of joy and support for many years, to help with Tobias for 9 hours a week. She’s been faithfully writing her own blog every single day for over 12 years! Her consistency is admirable, and I’d love for you to check out her inspiring journey at Unendlich Geliebt. A great example. 

As for Tobias, he’s doing well, and I feel blessed to see the progress he’s made. Has he reached all the milestones I initially envisioned? Not exactly, but what matters is that we’re moving forward. He faces physical limitations, and his body doesn’t always cooperate with what his mind desires, but he’s still here with us, full of life and love. That’s something to celebrate every day.

His journey:

Through this journey, I’ve learned an important lesson: sometimes, we try too hard to control the outcomes we want, and in doing so, we forget to appreciate the beautiful moments right in front of us. I used to focus on all the things I wanted for Tobias—his ability to walk again, to return to University, to reconnect with friends in the way he once did. I was so intent on seeing him return to the person he was before the brain bleed. But slowly, I’m realizing that this “new” Tobias is just as incredible, if not more so, than the person I had hoped for.

Patience, love, and acceptance—virtues

Tobias, in his quiet and steady way, has been teaching me a lot about life. He’s shown me that it’s not about trying to mold things into what I want but embracing the journey as it unfolds. He’s taught me about patience, love, and acceptance—virtues that, if I’m being honest, I’m still working on myself. A never ending process, but if its true what I believe, that life on earth is just a learning opportunity, then I am actually not doing so bad. As of Tobias, he then is doing great since his spirit is so pure, full of love and good humor. In Jesaiah is says:

Jesaiah 41:10 
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

This verse is a powerful reminder that God is always with us, offering His strength and support, so we don’t need to live in fear. It encourages us to trust that we are never alone, no matter how hard things may seem

In the past, I often found myself controlled by fear—fear of what the future might hold, fear of not doing enough for Tobias, fear of the unknown. But as time goes on, I’m learning to replace that fear with faith. I’m realizing that it’s okay to let go and trust in the process, to trust that God’s plan is better than anything I could imagine.I’ve always been resourceful, and that’s a trait that has helped me navigate many challenges. However, I’ve also come to see that even our strengths can wear us down if we don’t allow ourselves to pause and breathe. There were days when I was so focused on what I wanted for Tobias—whether it was to hear him crack jokes again, see him back in school, or watch him engage with his friends—that I missed the beauty of who he is now. But Tobias, with his grace and gentleness, continues to remind me that everything will unfold in its own time.

And he’s right. My “new” Tobias is someone special. He tells me every day how much he loves me, his siblings, his niece, and the entire family. My “old” Tobias, the one who was more practical and fact-driven, wasn’t so outwardly emotional. He was all about logic and reason. But this “new” Tobias is full of love and kindness, always ready to pray and offer comfort. He’s more emotionally aware and compassionate than ever before, and I’m learning to appreciate these qualities.

He reminds me of Romans 5:3-4, which says:

"And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope."

This verse really resonates with our journey. I can see how every challenge we’ve faced has helped build strength and character—not just in Tobias, but in me as well. It’s taught me to slow down, to let go of rigid expectations, and to embrace the present moment. There’s so much hope in that.

While I may not fully feel that light yet, I believe it’s coming. Each day, I’m learning more about trust—trust in God, trust in myself, and trust in the process. I’m learning to be the person I’m meant to be, embracing the roles I’ve been given as a wife, mother, and grandmother.Recently, our neuropsychologist suggested enrolling Tobias in another rehabilitation program, one that could help him build new skills and continue his journey toward independence. It’s a step forward for both of us—allowing him to grow while giving me the space to step back a little. It’s not about giving up; it’s about opening up possibilities for both of us to thrive.

Today, as Mandy—our amazing helper—took Tobias to Potsdam in the special transport, I saw something beautiful. Tobias was beaming, content in an environment that felt so ordinary and yet so filled with promise. Seeing him like that, relaxed and happy, reminded me that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

I’m learning to let go of control and embrace hope. This journey with Tobias isn’t always easy, but it’s filled with love, growth, and grace. And for that, I am deeply thankful.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read. If you’d like to continue following our journey, or if you want to see how we’re embracing the beauty of life’s unexpected turns, feel free to check back here. 

And please, visit my friend’s inspiring blog at Unendlich Geliebt. Her story is full of hope and love, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.

Just another caregiver or someone who is figuring out the purpose of life, lots of love, 

Katja