The miracles under the rubble

Speech Therapy & 🙌

A Sunny Tomorrow

The way people look at me when I tell them that Tobias will get back to his life and finish his education is priceless. Why do we often let fears control our lives? We are limiting ourselves. One thing we were constantly bothered about: Tobias always said, " I am the best," and let us all know how great he was. We got irritated and wondered why he needed to talk like this. Tobias always had a great sense of humor, which I only sometimes got; moreover, it was the Tobias we love. He has a pure heart, a rough personality, and lots of humor. 

All of the above helps him today in his healing process. Tobias could not fight for more strength, endurance, and the proper function of his joints/tendons/muscles without such confidence, self-awareness, faith, and willpower. I want him to believe in himself and think he is the greatest and simply fantastic. Tobias is now aware of his disabilities, which he was not until a few months back. That might be unbelievable to you as much as it has been for me. 

I share one situation with you. I asked Tobias if he understood that he could not walk. He said: "That is stupid; of course, I can walk." Mom: "Ok, Tobias, get up and walk!" Tobias, with a smile: "Ok!" Tobias tried to get up and realized that he was in trouble. Since then, I have asked Tobias daily if he is still aware of his disability; the therapies make even more sense to him and show many results, more than ever. A window has opened, and the progress is visible; he is not afraid to follow the sometimes awkward therapies. 

Speech is one of the therapies where you must practice, practice, and again practice. Tobias suffers very likely from "Dysarthria. Sometimes, the muscles that control your speech become weak due to stroke, multiple sclerosis (MS), amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), or other nervous system disorders. People with Dysarthria may have slow or slurred speech." It often takes Tobias more time to say something, and his speech could be more precise. He speaks very fast or needs help finding the muscles to say what he wants. I would be embarrassed with some of the practices, but Tobias takes it with dignity. So proud of him. Again, hard work pays off. Tobias is more engaged than ever. It helps that his therapists work with a fresh mind, energy, and positive emotion. They do not shy back to pushing Tobias, which is a big part of successful therapy. 

Healing the speech impairment is one of the scariest parts of my motherly life. I love talking to Tobias. We had fun and exciting conversations before his brain bled. His humor and just the way he expressed himself. For Tobias to be unable to tell us about his pain, needs, and wants, is so hard on Tyler and me. We, so far, were only able to read his body. We felt so much responsibility, overwhelmed by feelings, especially when it looked like Tobias suffered from pain. Can you imagine a person's loneliness when unable to communicate with others? Always being with yourself? 

I wondered if Tobias chats with himself a lot. I wondered if he did have thoughts, or is not thinking at all; is this even possible? Communication is what brings us, people, together. How about the people who can not communicate or are just limited with thinking, talking? How do you see those people? Do you look at them, or is it easier to ignore the people who can not proper communicate? I watched the people around Tobias, in stores, on the street, and even medical staff or therapists. It was not difficult to recognize the doubt full look when talking about the progress Tobias has made. The improvement is often so tiny that it is hard to see in the eyes of the doubtful. Very easy and powerful to see as a caregiver who is always around him. People often recognize this as wishful thinking. I show you! Why am I not doubting? I can not answer that, besides that I just know and so I   focus my work with him only on succeding. Look at the picture above. Tobias was driving his grandma around who is sitting in a wheelchair, without knowing, that he would start sitting, a few days later, in a wheel chair himself. Life is unpredictable - in both direction. :)

We know that the brain heals and finds new ways; neuroplasticity is natural but requires patience, hard work, dedication, and faith. Easier when you have time and people who care for you with time and trust. We are grateful for each of our therapists who care about Tobias and believe in his progress. They are devoted and on top of their continued education. Tobias indeed benefits from new ideas & knowledge. I am grateful that I can stay home with him and that Tyler can work from home and support. Life is good, folks. 

Enjoy each day as it is. For us, tomorrow is not written yet, and neither for you. Believe that your life tomorrow will be as good as it gets, be hopeful, and invest your energy to make today a happy and full day, because that will lead to a sunny tomorrow.   The next blog entry will show you where neuroplacticity already took place - especially in the past three weeks. Stay tuned. Thanks for your interest and empathy with our personal story. Thanks for your faith, your prayers and well wishes. You all are giving our family strengh and hope. 

Best wishes, 

Katja and Family