Day 119 - 120 "Me in Germany" & "Parents are heroes"

 

Dear Friends and Family,

 

What can I say, it has not been an easy week for me or my family. I have mastered another move, this time from the hospital to a REHA Clinic for kids and young people. As we all know, a move costs energy, even though if you are not the one doing the work.  Since I am not mobile yet, what I mean with this, I still cannot walk or reposition myself in bed. Just in case you wonder: Yes, I cannot get dressed by myself either, … and you are right, … I cannot use the bathroom by myself.  It’s hard, but do not worry, it’s just a process and I will relearn and reclaim my independence in time. My mom jocks at times and wonders if my table manners will improve since I am relearning the basics again. 

Who knows, it will be exciting to find out. Dear God, I tried to be a good fellow over the years, have mercy on me. Teaching me to stay humble under such rough circumstances feels a bit harsh, but maybe there are more lessons to learn for me? In this line, you will find lots of emotions. I don’t believe that God has caused my brain bleed, but I do believe that he is helping me, my family and the people who cared for me so far to do, what helps me to progress physically and mentally. Some of the helpers are not always the best listeners, but what can you do others than to move on. 

 

My mom and dad are not trained caregivers, but the two have been learning since day one, August 27^th, 2021. I am impressed how comfortable they became in my care and how passionate they became of my wellbeing. I know that they always loved me, but I have never seen so many worries and sorrows in my parents’ eye’s and so much love. That makes even me cry. If I could show emotions…. I do feel very sorry for them. They are so helpless at times. I do try to give them little signs, but it is hard to see those. My mom reads me generally well (or reads messages I did not give – I love my mom, she is funny) Why funny? Well, today for example, I was tiered as usual, she was sitting at the able to eat her dinner. Mom could see me and the monitor. I have learned that both, mom and dad, both get nervous about my vitals from time to time. Mom noticed that my heart rate went up to 103, that was high for the day, since my average today was 68. (Lowest was 50) She jumped up to see if I was in pain. She asked me (I did not answer … don’t understand why, because I did verbalize a few words earlier), Mom went on to investigate, touched my arms, stretched them both and then, just like out of the blue, lifted my blanket to check if I had an … you know what. What was she thinking? Let it be up to the nurses to do that. Mom and dad, both feel no harm and making sure I am comfortable from head to toe. My vitals went back to normal, as soon as my arms were stretched and my legs repositioned a bit. How would you feel staying in bed, in one position for over two hours? I would like to give you some homework for today: Lay on one site of your body before you go to bed or on your sofa while watching TV, stay for more than one hour and tell me how it felt. My goal for January is to work on more independence. GO INDEPENDENCE!

 

Since I am the only young adult currently on my floor, people are surprised on how tall I am (HELP?!?!?! They mean of course, compare to the babies and toddlers) on my station. Mom told me today that she keeps running into  many heroes in this clinic. She talked about a group of three young teens, about 12 years old. One kid had a light disability in his legs. He was pushing his friend (with red hair … which made mom sad, he looked a bit like me) in a wheelchair – in front of them another kid running with some spastic legs. Each of them served the other. The kid in front was supposed to run to the door and open the door for the kid in the wheelchair and his friend. All three worked as a team and what impressed mom the most, was the friendship, their happiness and teamwork. Each of them with a unique disability. On the way back from her walk, she also noticed two moms and one little kid speeding with his little wheelchair and getting excited for his drive in the woods. Poor joy to watch so much happiness. 

 

On my floor stayed a young family, they left today. The mother was chasing her daughter with her electric wheelchair while the daughter (who is the patient here) was playing with her. Dad was packing up the car, since today was release day. Mom was asking the nurse about them. She told mom of this unique family. Working so well with each other, happy and so adaptive of their situation. Mom in a wheelchair, daughter must have some sort of a neurological disorder and dad seams healthy. 

 

She calls all those young mothers “little heroes”. I think it helps mom to deal with our situation better. My aunt Heike is a great support for mom. As mom shaved me today, brushed my teeth and fed me earlier, aunt Heike chatted with mom via FT. I noticed getting a bit annoyed and so I learned (also my mom) that I become very close of being total conscious, I vocalize (say single words) and become expressive (with my eye’s mostly). It is great to feel the energy and my mom and dad’s happy face. 

 

I did not mention in my previous post, that I was able to respond to moms’ questions one night, still in the German hospital, totally random at night. I think we are talking about 10 to 15 questions with a one-to-two-word answer. Gosh there was happiness that evening. 

 

Today, was a calm day. We rented a wheelchair for the time being, the Nurses were very carrying, and mom took an hour for herself. (Her therapist gave her homework: She had to go on a walk today and have “me” time) I could tell, she was happier and calm. (She also brought me some ice crème … which was not a part of her homework by the way) Well, mothers are always moms J!

 

Thanks for everyone who is reading our blog. Thanks for praying for my recovery. Please don’t give up on me J!!! I believe that hope and fears can move mountains. Thanks for using your faith to help me. Hope over fears folks. Remember, I will be back!

 

Lots of Love,

 

Tobias