Day 98 (Nov 28)

I took Tobias on a long walk as soon as I could this morning.  When I arrived he was still getting breakfast from the nurse.  She had been feeding him for an hour before she reached the conclusion that he wasn't going to eat any more.  The nurse and the aide today have been extremely attentive and selfless.  They watched over Tobias carefully and they picked up the extra care that Katja and I normally provide because I wasn't able to today.  

When Tobias finished breakfast, I dressed him warmly and we went out for a walk.  We had a visitor planned for noon and I was intent on getting Tobias outside.  We walked up to the hospital above us on the hill and spent almost two hours walking around the mountain-facing patio in the back.  It was so warm that we were able to sit with our faces into the sun and enjoy the bracing chill comfortably.

At noon I started to feed Tobias and when our guest came we chatted for a bit before heading off to lunch in the kitchen when the nurse came in to give Tobias his medicine.  The nurse brought Tobias to the kitchen and we continued our chat with our visitor.  We receive another set of visitors and stayed in the kitchen.  The nurse won't let us have more than two visitors in the room, but she allowed us to have four visitors in the kitchen.  It may not have been allowed, but no one said anything to us.  At 4:30 we received another visitor and the first two sets of visitors left.  We've never had a day with so many visitors, but people know that we are leaving and it was nice to see everyone again before we leave.  The final set of visitors turned out to be a big surprise.  I thought that one couple was coming to say good-bye, but it turned out to be many friends of mine from high school.  They met us outside because the hospital wouldn't allow them to wait in the lobby.  They brought paper with the lyrics for Christmas carols and we sang several of them in the cold early evening.  When we were finished, I asked them to stay and I brought Tobias back to his room.  The nurse came in and offered to feed Tobias again.  This is a time consuming process and not glamorous.  I am grateful for the level of care this nurse has offered Tobias.

I had several minutes to chat with each of my friends, several of whom I haven't seen for over 30 years.  I went to high school with a group of friends who were good influences on me then and continue to provide inspiration through their support and example.  They showed up tonight to help me through a difficult period and I felt the strength that comes through their concern and care.

Hope over fear