Day 95 (Nov 25)


Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Tobias had a busy first half of the day and a quiet second half.  All of the therapy was scheduled end to end in the morning so that the therapists could leave at noon.  Tobias also had his grandma and his aunt and cousin visit.  I got to feed him lunch, but he was tired and he wasn't able to stay focused long enough.  He didn't talk much today, but he kept raising his hand to tell me that he wanted to eat more, but as soon as I put more food in his mouth he would close his eyes and stop chewing and swallowing.  I left at 2:30 to join my family’s Thanksgiving celebration.  I felt guilty for leaving him.  It may have been lonely spending the last half of the day on Thanksgiving by oneself.  He can't communicate so we don't know for sure.  There are going to be more uncomfortable choices, I'm sure.  I know that we can't be there for him 24x7 and there is a practical limit to what we can do for him, but I still feel like I've missed opportunities to be the support that he needs.  I'm sure this is a normal feeling as a caregiver for one's child, but understanding something logically and experiencing it emotionally aren't always the same thing.  Two opposing conclusions can coexist in the same person and both feel real.

Hope over fear.

Comments

  1. Lou Ann HoffmanNovember 29, 2021 at 8:48 PM

    You are a stellar father. I suspect that your's and Katja's service and love are a huge factor in his steady recovery.

    ReplyDelete

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